Emotional Limbo

These are the referral photos and medical card Orson Mozes sent us in May 2006 after admitting yet again we lost another referral, Marina. Orson's excuse of "I dont understand what is going on over there" and "Marina wasn't supposed to be available until June" did little to comfort us or build up a trust that had been annilated by the loss of Natalia.
Orson then tried to talk us out of wanting baby 1011. He said she was to old and not blonde and blue eyed. These comments really sent us reeling. We never requested blonde blue eyed referrals. When we first began the process we asked many questions. We did alot of reading about adoption and its life long effects on the adoptee. Having a biological son already we decided if we could adopt a caucasian child that would be our choice for our family. This was our only request and it was made after careful consideration for all involved. Being adopted himself my husband said that all of his life he didnt wear his adoption on the outside, it was an internal private matter to be shared only when he felt it important. If we adopt a child who isn't caucasian while I am sure we will love them just the same, their adoption will always be evident and therefore no longer a private matter for the child to decide with whom to share their adoption story. So we decided to try and adopt an available caucasian child who was in need of a loving family.
In retrospect we assume the reason Orson wanted to talk us out of baby 1011 was because she was a new face on his photolisting and if he removed her photo so soon he couldnt bait other perspective adoptive parents.
We explained our thoughts again to Orson and requested baby 1011. Orson complied with our wishes, removed her photo from the photolisting site and sent the referral pictures and medical card. Again he said baby 1011 would be "held" for us. It was difficult to thank him yet again for all that he was attempting to do for us. But thank him again we did.
Upon review of 1011's medical card which was sketchy to say the least,we held out little hope that we would be adopting at all. However we had to see this journey to the end. Our dossier had arrived in Kazakhstan on April 10th and it had only been there for 5 weeks so far. From all I had read we knew we had some more time to wait for the coveted LOI. We were in an emotional limbo, and almost convinced our adoption would never even take place.
We talked together as a family again about this 3rd referral who's name Orson had not even given us this time. We decided to try and not get our hopes up only to be disappointed again. I myself talked a good story to Chris and Christopher however secretly I had already lost my heart yet again, (for the third time) to this new referral baby 1011. I wondered if they did too.





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MEDICAL CARD

1. 1011
2. Date of birth: 6 of April 2005 year
3. Information at the moment of birth: Circle of the head – 33 cm, circle of chest – 32 cm APGAR: 7-8, weight – 2 700, height – 49 cm
4. Teeth – 8 (4 above and 4 from below) May 15 2006
5. Information at the moment: May 15 2006 Circle of the head – 42 cm, circle of chest – 45 cm, weight – 7 500, height – 67 cm
6. Diagnosis at the birth moment: healthy
7. Diagnosis at the birth moment: healthy; blood (1), hemoglobin 109 gm-1 Litre
8. Brothers and sisters: no information
9. Nationality: Russian
10. Skills according 1 year old
11. Information about parents: mother-date of birth-1974, unemployment, healthy – normal.