Hold onto your heart!!!!!!!!

It was three long months (after losing our first referral) of wondering how our adoption journey would proceed. As we waited for our LOI the pain of our loss lingered, and even thoughts of losing all the money we had invested paled in comparison to the reality we were living. As a family we discussed our options. If we stopped now we definitely would lose everything we invested. There were no refunds on our dreams. We had to play it out. We already hopped on this train and paid our fare both emotionally and financially, we had to see where it all would end up. After all by now we knew God was in control... So we tried to hold onto our hearts and not fall in love again with the picture of our second referral, Marina.
Orson Mozes's email apology about our first referral being adopted by another AIP client, and his pathetic excuse just fueled our resolve. There are no words or deeds that could undue what was done deliberately to us. SO we had to be smarter than Orson Mozes. We had to turn the tables on him. We had to fight fire with fire. We had to get Orson to buy into us, the way we bought into him. We had to feed his insatiable ego. And so we did. We fed Orson lines like "we know you have our best interests at heart" and "we know you will help us find a child". And we thanked him every chance we got. We thanked him so often we even started believing it ourselves. To this day I think if asked, Orson would say I cannot believe the Young family "turned me in" they were so nice to me.
And we were. I even started praying for Orson's soul. I believed in International Adoption and what it meant for both the orphan and the adoptive parents. I remember conversing with Orson about him being in the "miracle business". Another conversation to feed his ego, and get him to want to help us. It truly is so sad for Orson Mozes that greed won out over the miracles.
I remained driven to find all the information I could in preparation for travel to a foreign country. Again I spent many hours on the Internet reading blogs and yahoo message boards to try and understand this process called International Adoption from Kazakhstan. I came across 2 other AIP families who were about to travel.
http://themcspaddenfamily.blogspot.com/ Amy McSpadden
 

amy and alina













and http://candykaz.blogspot.com/ Candy Bushouse
I owe these two women a huge debt of gratitude. Largely because they helped me hold on and stay focused. I cannot remember who I spoke with first but I believe it was Amy. She had travelled to the same baby house in Ust Kamenogorsk that now, our second referral was living in. I spoke with Amy before she travelled and sent her Marina's (our 2nd referral) photos and asked her to look for her. She said she would try and find her, and take some up dated photos.
During Amy's bonding period in Ust Kamenogorsk while she was spending time with Alina we corresponded via email off the blog. It was Amy who first realized that AIP and Orson Mozes's reputation in Kazakhstan was waning. Amy had encountered and uncovered information in Kazakhstan that when she had posted it on the Internet her very own adoption was threatened, according to Orson Mozes. Amy did manage to recant some of the information to satisfy Orson and her adoption proceeded, but not without issue as you can read in her blog.
Amy also searched for Marina and when she found her, I am sure her heart was heavy from the information she would soon deliver to me. Amy could have easily said she couldn't find Marina. I am so thankful she didn't. The truth was, Marina was being adopted, and her parents were in Ust Kamenogorsk at the same time Amy was. They were a couple from Ireland and with a different adoption agency than AIP. I never imagined history would repeat itself so quickly. While we remained skeptical about Orson Mozes and his promises, I couldn't help but love that little angel in the picture, our second referral. Yet again my heart was broken but I thanked God my second referral would be surrounded by the love of family. I asked Amy to send me a photo if she could. Below is the family from Ireland who adopted Marina. Maybe some day we will meet as the Internet makes this world so small.
 
 

After receiving the photo I had to wait to confront Orson yet again, with information I had obtained from the Internet. Because of Amy, I now knew our situation was worse than expected. Not only was Orson Mozes a liar and a crook here in the USA, but now his business practices were being investigated by the Kazakhstan government. In all probability I felt our chances of adopting were all but over. We really needed a miracle. I know I said we relinquished control to God but its hard for the human side not to place doubt...
I didn't confront Orson right away because Amy was still in Kazakhstan in the middle of her adoption. I couldn't chance Amy having any problems with her adoption because of me. So I decided to try and prod Orson. I emailed him and asked if he could try and check on Marina to get an updated picture for us. I told Orson "after all we had been through an updated photo would mean so much." I figure if Orson checked on Marina he would be told she had been adopted. I wanted to see if he would tell me Marina had been adopted. He didn't. Instead Orson said he couldn't get any updated photos and I shouldn't worry, Marina would be ours. It was so hard again not to lash out at him. But I could not, I had to wait for word that Amy's adoption was complete. It would be another 3 weeks before I could make my next move.