Our Decision to Adopt

Our decision to adopt began about 6 years. Our son Christopher was 7 years old and the possibility of another biological child was nil. So we began to talk about adoption. Our thought was, domestic adoption at our ages would be next to impossible, so we turned to International Adoption.
While vacationing in Daytona Beach I came across the following article in the local paper

SUSAN WRIGHT
Staff Writer susan.wright@news-jrnl.com
February 20, 2001; Page 01C
ORMOND BEACH -- Tait Andreyva Newman is one in 650,000, according to her father, Ken Newman.
He beams as he calls her "Little Miss Personality." The elfin 3-year-old with delicate cheek bones and a 100-watt smile lights up as her mother, Denise Newman, brings out a box of toys and mementos.
In seconds, she has pulled out and arranged on the floor a matryoska, the traditional Russian nesting doll hand-painted with purple and blue flowers.
Her older brother, Reid, 9, helps her in the awkwardly gentle way of older brothers.
Like many other adoptive parents, Ken and Denise Newman plan to tell their obviously cherished daughter how special she is because they were able to choose her for their very own -- out of an estimated 650,000 children currently available for adoption in post-Soviet Russia.
They'll also be able to tell her about how they traveled halfway across the world to St. Petersburg, Russia, to pick her out. They have videos of themselves in the waiting room at the orphanage holding a tiny, alert and enchanting 7-month-old Tait on their laps. They'll be able to tell her that she was carefully chosen -- the couple considered three other little Russian girls before deciding on Tait, whom they adopted just over two years ago.
They want everyone to know the blond, blue-eyed gamine has been nothing but a joy since they first saw her in an orphanage they say was one of the best in the former Soviet Union. "The best of the best would bring tears to your eyes," Ken says.

They adopted her through an agency in Arizona, where they lived before moving to Ormond Beach.
The couple is campaigning to make sure more people know that their story of a successful Russian adoption is the norm, not the exception -- and the vast majority of those 650,000 children in need of a family of their own are healthy, mentally and physically.
The Arizona-based agency they used has been in business for 27 years, handled about 3,000 adoptions, and, according to the Newmans, only had 10 cases in which the adoptive parents decided they couldn't keep the adopted child -- a phenomenon known as a disruption.
Tait, who loves her preschool and proudly shows off the latest gymnastics moves she's learned in her twice weekly class, is so clearly healthy and happy she could be a poster child for Russian adoptions.
The Newmans are willing to talk about their experience because they are more than a little tired of hearing the horror stories. They say the media has concentrated on the shock value of a few examples of Americans adopting Russian children with severe emotional and mental problems -- and left a false impression of what happens to most families who turn to the former Soviet Union to adopt.
Television programs and newspapers series have focused public attention on the danger of bring ing home a child who may be permanently unable to relate or bond to others -- children who were so deprived of nurturing and human contact in the orphanage that they are unable to form normal attachments.
Those cases, they contend, are the exception, not the rule.
Only a small percentage of the children from countries formerly part of the Soviet bloc are so severely damaged, they say.
They say they have met many other couples who have adopted children as normal and healthy as Tait, including several in Ormond Beach.
Couples who are thinking about adopting a child have several ways to make sure the child they adopt is a child that will bring them the kind of joy Tait has brought to them, they say.
"This particular orphanage has little, two-minute tapes of the children they'll send you. When you get them, the agency will show them to experts who can tell you if there are any signs the child has any kind of severe problem," Ken says.
They'd already sent experts tapes of other little girls from the orphanage and discovered that one child seemed to have a severe condition that could have cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills if they had adopted her.
Denise says, "Since we are both self-employed, we don't have the insurance to cover those kinds of costs."
So, they turned her down and waited. Then, they got the video of little Olga, who they later named Tait. The experts found nothing on the tape to indicate any problems with Olga.
So the couple got into the next stage of the adoption process -- traveling to Russia to meet the child and go through the government red tape.
"Russian bureaucracy is unbelievable," Ken says.
The Newmans say the Russian authorities ask prospective parents questions about how they feel about taking a child with a disability and what level of disability they can handle.
They were also provided some information on Tait's background. "They gave us some very skimpy information," Denise says. "We know that the birth mother was 23, that it was her third pregnancy, and that Tait was a 34-week preemie."
Now, they report, she shows no adverse effects of having been born prematurely -- in fact she's tall for her age.
And Tait isn't the only child who found a home through the Newmans. Ken says they also were told about another child, a 5-year-old blind girl who had been taught how to manage with her disability in the orphanage but who would probably live out her life in an institution if she wasn't adopted by an American family.
He says they agreed to adopt her if no one else could be found -- and when they got back to the United States, he asked the adoption agency to help find parents for the little girl. He says that a Mormon family with five children of their own has adopted the little blind girl, who he says now "bikes, skies, takes dance classes."

For further information, contact Ken Newman at 111-111-1111

I contacted Ken the same day and he agreed to meet with us. He was so passionate about his adoption he gathered his wife Denise and beautiful daughter Tait and arranged to meet us for lunch. It was during this lunch date we learned about adoption from Russia. Ken walked us thru their journey beginning with the paper chase and ending with their precious daughter. No question was off limits and we felt we had a good handle on what to expect.
When we returned home from that vacation I immediately began my internet search for an International Adoption Agency. After many searches and discussions I contacted an agency called ASA and was provided with a loose leaf binder of information and a video tape which to date I still have not looked at. I also was given the business card of the International Adoption Director. For some reason that I cannot explain our adoption was not to be at that point in our lives so the binder, video and business card were placed in a closet where it sat for 3 more years.