Unanswered Prayers, Miracles and Faith

Soon after we received confirmation from Orson that the Sapp's had indeed adopted our referral Natalia, the Sapp's sent us an email. They explained the reason they didn't email us back right away was because they felt it was Orson's responsibility to tell us they had adopted Natalia. They expressed their sympathy and offered prayers.

After we regained our composure, I prayed for words and a message to send to the Sapp's. Even though our hearts were heavy with grief, our thoughts and prayers were also with the Sapp's and our baby 749 Natalia (the child we thought would be our daughter). As I sat to type our congratulations my heart in its complete humaness was consumed with pain and anger, yet I was driven to send a message of love. Through tears I typed words I must have received through prayer. We sincerely wanted to communicate to the Sapp's that in no way did we hold them responsible for our pain, and we were consciously placing our faith in God. While we received this unanswered prayer which was painful and difficult to understand, we were also giving thanks to God for the miracle unfolding in their lives.
In this re-telling of our journey, as I re-read the sent message, the confirmation from God is so evident that our miracle is coming.

Before sending the ecard we talked as a family alot, about the life circumstance's both the Sapp's and the Young's were sharing. We realized the Sapp's and their miracle would forever be tied to our daughters adoption story and each time we share our story the Sapp's and Natalia are an important chapter.
We talked about our adoption and our expectations.
Then we asked ourselves some tough questions. The likes of which required some deep soul searching and acceptance of the answers we found, but didn't necessarily like.
With biological children, were there photos and guarantees? The obvious answer. NO. So why did we have a different expectation with our adoption? Orson Mozes!
Were photo listings and referrals with medical/social information legal in the adoption process in Kazakhstan? NO.
So why did we have one?
Orson Mozes!
Did we ask questions about the process, about the country, about the legalities and the possibility of not being able to adopt baby 749 (Natalia)? YES.
It was explained to us that the ONLY way we could lose baby 749 was, if a biological parent or family member came back to claim her, or if a citizen of Kazakhstan wanted to adopt baby 749 (Natalia) before you arrived in Kazakhstan to begin the bonding process. The latter being a situation that never occurs because of the stigmatism placed on children in orphanages.
This information was all provided by Orson Mozes as he requests the 12,850.00 fee to "HOLD" this child for us. He goes on to explain that after the fee is in a fed ex envelope with a tracking number, baby 749 will be removed from the Internet photo listing and no longer available to any other interested clients. His confidence that this child will be our "daughter" is convincing.
Did we really have a right to place any child on "HOLD" for adoption?
Difficult question to answer at the time given we didnt have all the information we have today. We didn't know there was another way to adopt from Kazakhstan. We didn't know about travelling blind and that there really was never a need to pay any fee (other than an application fee) until you are paper ready to travel. Our adoption agency, AIP and its director Orsen Mozes failed to explain the ethical adoption process that was and is in place in Kazakhstan.
When we first contacted AIP it was because of our desire to adopt, and an Internet search. We found Adopting.com, perused the site and its photo listings. Baby 749's photo touched our hearts and our journey began.
The answer to the above question now that we have lost our referral (baby 749 Natalia) and retrospectively is unequivocally, NO.
We did not, and do not feel we had a right to "HOLD" any child for our adoption while gathering our documents for the dossier, or for any reason for that matter.
If there is a family at an orphanage ready to accept a child into their hearts and lives, we didn't feel it our right to have a child spend even one minute longer in an orphanage not experiencing the joy of having and being a special part of a family.
It was this revelation that provided us the most comfort to begin the task of emotionally letting go of baby 749 Natalia, the child we believed would have been our daughter.

This is a copy of the ecard I found on http://www.bluemountain.com/ and the message we sent the Sapp's. We wanted them to feel our sincere congratulations.